After my first miscarriage with Angel, I really had to wrestle with anger toward God for the first time in my life.
Seeing all the blissfully pregnant women around me only compounded that anger. How could He do this to me? Why is it so easy for others? It felt like God was rubbing salt in a deep wound.
As a Christian, anger toward God can be so awkward and uncomfortable. I remember feeling guilty for being angry. It’s certainly easy to try to bury those feelings or deny that we even have them, even to ourselves. It may seem easier to just pretend and tell ourselves that everything is ok. As Christians, we might feel that we should never be angry with God, or that it is sinful.
However, I’ve learned that not confronting anger can lead to bitterness and a hard heart. We have to lean into the Lord with our anger. Tell Him how we feel. Allow Him to heal the hurt and anger like only He can. The awesome thing about our holy, perfect God is that He responds perfectly to our anger. Humans typically do not respond well when confronted with anger from others. We often become defensive, justify our actions, and then proceed to point out the faults of the other person. But not so with our God. Every time, He responds to us perfectly without sin because that’s who He is. He is big enough to handle all our feelings, even anger.
When we lean into Him, even in anger, frustration, and hurt, He will guide us through the storm. He will heal and restore our broken hearts even as the storm rages on. The words of a song by Scott Krippayne ring so true in times of suffering: "Sometimes He calms the storm, and other times He calms His child.”
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